This morning found me in meditation feeling the energetic vibration of "trust". The actual energetic vibration of what this feels like in words (to me anyway) is like that of being like a steady, solid, unwavering mountain. It has a very steady, BIG feeling to it, but also very safe and comfortable. A place I'd like to reside in 24-7.
I was then curious to feel the energetic opposite of Trust. So I invited in the energy of "mistrust". And it was so enlightening to see how my feeling of a steady solid mountain had the resonance of being filled with holes. And the feeling of fear crept in very strongly. I then wondered if fear and mistrust are indeed the same energetic vibration. I will have to compare feeling their energetic resonance at a later time, as I ended up going off in another direction.
My attention was drawn to asking myself, "What do I trust?" and I discovered a list of things I could name. I also asked myself, "And what do I mistrust?" An immediate and unexpected piece of info. came in, fast as it usually does of, "The ground. The changing ground/earth."
I felt into that and discovered yes, it was true there was a part of me concerned about the changing ground (earth) under my feet, although I was unaware of it before today. (FYI: As of this writing it was indeed just a few days ago Japan experience a severe earthquake.)
In asking why I feared it, a past life memory emerged of myself as a dark-haired, light skinned woman lying on the ground. I was in an open barren place and the sky was grey. There were flames in the distance beyond the conifer tree line, burning the landscape. There was a feeling of chaos around me. The earth was in a changing pattern and I had the impression this woman was lying down in fear. When I asked what was happening in this scene, I was told "tectonic plate shifting". I could see how scared this woman/I was as the land was drastically changing under and around her. Her face was gripped in fear and I had to make a point of saying I was "observing" vs. "being" her again, because her fear was palpable. I would rather learn than get caught up in that feeling. Apparently I've already been through it once, no need for a replay.
Since the fear of "The Changing Ground/Earth" was present in me on some level (and I like to let go of anything that's not serving me so that I can best grow unencumbered) I asked my guides/higher self if there was another way I could be in harmony with the earth changing, so I could let go of this fear.
They explained that the earth was an individual, like myself, who was growing and evolving too. And that she has a life path and needs to change too. And that if I could keep that in mind and instead of fearing her when she changes under my feet but instead tune in and FEEL the changes with her, I could then be one with her and sense her energy shifting with her. (Over the years I've noticed becoming one with something-- thus understanding it, truly does lessen the fear. It's a bit like sitting with it, until the fear runs out. Underneath the fear is "no fear". Calmness. It's very interesting to see how a layer of fear can so could the very thing that I really prefer--- the calmness.)
So as if were still that past-life woman, I spent a moment feeling the earth changes with her. In this way I could "see" in my mind's eye a large vertical crack in the earth below, a great distance away from where she/I laid. And as I sensed the earth changes WITH the earth, the fear within me/this woman lessened.
Being reminded the earth has a path of her own, since this morning exploration, helps me be more accepting of her own need to change and evolve over time, just as I do in my own life.
Being reminded the earth has a path of her own, since this morning exploration, helps me be more accepting of her own need to change and evolve over time, just as I do in my own life.
I then made it my intention (at theta level) to release my old fear once and for all and replace if with the statement of, "I accept the earth's/ground's changes with harmonious acceptance."
